The Lost Galumpus by Joseph Helgerson

Author:Joseph Helgerson
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: HarperCollins
Published: 2022-10-27T00:00:00+00:00

Chapter 21

Fzzzzt!

Birdy took charge, shouting orders while tugging on his green claws and head.

“Class,” the 3000 announced as if starting a lesson, “this man says he’s been waiting all his life for a chance to do something heroic that could save the world.”

“Is that what he’s up to?” the mayor sounded off.

The 3000 ignored that to say, “He’s offering to hold back the caveman while we get away. He suggests we retreat to his garage, where we can hole up until we figure out a way to get Twigs home.”

“Not necessary,” Twigs insisted.

“Very necessary,” the 3000 countered. “And to get to his garage all we have to do is follow the path he’s made with his snowblower.”

Flinging open his bathrobe, Birdy challenged the cavemen with a shout. At the same time, he whipped out a sword that hung from a belt. The 3000 couldn’t translate exactly what he saying, not with the green mask once again muffling the words, but his tone sounded like, Halt! Take another step closer and I shall banish you to a kingdom beyond the sun. Or something of that sort. He seemed to be having the time of his life.

I wish I could say that Birdy’s sword glinted in the snowblower’s headlight, striking fear into the cavemen’s hearts. If it had, he might have had a fighting chance. But I’m afraid the sword looked gray and cheap and made of plastic, as if it’d bend or break apart as soon as it struck something solid. Besides, I kind of doubted the cavemen even knew what he was brandishing at them. They looked more confused than afraid. Birdy’s green mask slowed them down more than anything.

But then Birdy turned the sword’s handle.

The blade flashed a brilliant green just like the 3000’s Newtonian force beam. It also made a fzzzzt that sounded electrical.

The cavemen stopped in their tracks.

But even being reminded of the 3000’s force beam didn’t slow them down for long. A moment later they started moving forward again. Something that Saber-tooth had said angered the two older cavemen into shoving him ahead. The boy’s tone said that nobody had mentioned anything about bright green swords when they’d started out after tusks. He might have even gone so far as to suggest they call it day and head home. The two older cavemen weren’t having any of that.

I can’t be sure, but I think the lampshade and mop and pink blanket scared Twigs more than the clubs and spears had. With a groan, he shuffled through the drifts around the snowblower, heading to the path that Birdy had already cleared. And here’s the thing: For a couple of steps there he didn’t hobble, and when he did remember to limp, it was his right front leg that was bothering him. Earlier it’d been his left. This didn’t seem like the best time to go into all that, though, so I saved it, thinking I might find a chance to bring it up with the big galumpus when the mayor wasn’t sitting beside me.

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